The following are testimonies that we received from a mom and daughter. To protect their privacy, we have given them the fictitious names of "Donna" and "Michelle." Although their family history may differ from yours, their stories illustrate the power of God to change lives - even in the most desperate of situations.

Donna: Reality Hits Home

My mother was diagnosed with DID(Dissociative Identity Disorder) when I was 12 years old. When she started undergoing treatment, my life was turned upside down and at 12 years old I had no idea how to handle it. I didn't really understand what was happening to my mother. All I knew was that the mom I had come to depend on was no longer available. She spent a lot of time sleeping and my father would not allow her to be disturbed. My father became very protective of my mother and I felt that he cared for her more than me. For years, our lives seemed to revolve around my mom and her illness and how my brothers and sister and I needed to be supportive of her recovery. Trouble was, I had no idea what she was really going through at the time. I was just a kid who didn't understand why her mom couldn't take care of her anymore. I remember one specific time where one of her alters told me she didn't know who I was and that I couldn't be her daughter because she was too young to have children.

Michelle: From My Perspective

DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is caused when a young child is exposed to severe chronic trauma. "Dissociating" is like day dreaming or escaping from the present trauma into a made up world.  With D.I.D, a person actually becomes a made up character to survive the trauma. In my case, I developed DID due to repeated sexual and ritual abuse. I survived untold horrors and assaults through dissociation. Cults only use children who can dissociate, because they won't tell.   The "alters" my daughter refers to are personalities or people I became to survive. Some "alters" were strong to fight the assaults, some were compliant, others angry, and most were children.

Had I not received counseling at the time I did, my children would be motherless. The pain and shame of my past would have killed me.  I think my children would rather have had a mom, however ill, than no mom at all.  I did set an example for them.  I braved through the debilitating counseling sessions, reliving the shame, anger, abandonment and rejection.  Through the tough healing I have become a much more sensitive and present mother and now grandmother.   I have now shared in my children's weddings and births of their children.  My grown children can now depend on me when needed.  

In preparation for this issue of The Lighthouse Beacon, my daughter and I shared with each other what we would include in our testimonies. I am very encouraged and blessed by what she has to say.  

Donna: Hope in the midst of Pain

I have been in counseling for over 7 years and have been able, with the Lord's help, to work through the pain of my childhood. I was fortunate to witness much of the transformation my mother underwent through the healing power of Jesus. I am very close with her now. I have forgiven her for not being there for me, because I understand now why she couldn't be. Not only have I forgiven her, but I am also very proud of her. I feel that she wanted to get better for us, and she has. I still struggle with depression and anxiety; my self-esteem could definitely be better; and I tend to keep people at arm's length. Having a mother with DID was incredibly hard and painful, and didn't come without consequences, but I have been able with God's help to come out of it a stronger and more compassionate person. There is hope for people affected by DID either directly or indirectly. There is always hope. My mother and I are living proof.